Be a decent person. While it may sound like a blanket statement, my father's advice became the cornerstone of my approach to life. He always said it to me. Don't worry about how much you don't have, forget your mistakes, things always work out. Just be likeable, someone that others want to be around. Especially to yourself. So early on I adopted the following traits as those that a decent person should possess:
Humility
A sense of humor
A moral compass
Perseverance
Intelligence
Strength
Self-respect
My parents and grandparents had very high standards for me.
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't have a checklist on my wall. It wasn't like I was in Bible study every day and being whipped on the knuckles if my posture wasn't straight. But I was brought up by lower-middle class parents who each grew up very poor and wanted a better life for me. So whenever any of life's "little situations" came up like a fistfight at school or a bullying incident (which I was usually the bullied) I was put on the spot to decide what was the right course of action vs what I actually did. These conversations happened continuously. I grew up constantly aware of the importance of "the right thing to do".
I tailored my own personal philosophy to achieve the "decent person" concept and added a critical caveat. To be able to sleep at night with a clean conscience. My career choices have always revolved around this concept. If I earn a paycheck at the expense or exploitation of the environment or someone's dignity, I will not choose that career path.
It has recently occurred to me that I am now almost where I want to be in life. Possibly I am where my father wanted me to be. But I am not quite there. At age 40 here is where I am.
I am not wealthy, but I don't need anything. I do pretty well.
I have learned the dangers of excess pride and have adopted humility as my approach to the chest-thumpers in life.
I have learned to laugh at those things in life I cannot control. And I can control and even diffuse many situations with humor.
I have a career that doesn't exploit anyone or anything. And I am in sales...can you believe it?
I have a pretty solid set of morals and I know what my values are.
I am diligent and relentless in my quest for success, but I sell my product fairly and honestly.
I have achieved an education (vs considerable odds) and am considered fairly intelligent. But there is always someone smarter.
I am secure in my strengths. But I am big enough to acknowledge my weaknesses and work on them.
I have a genuine respect for others (it is occasionally forced) and try to be objective and not judgemental.
So why do I sometimes feel as if I am completely full of shit? I know that I am everything that I just stated...most of the time.
But sometimes I am a walking contradiction.
Sometimes I get obsessed with money and how much I am not earning.
Sometimes I get a big head when I land a really big account. I catch myself but I still do it.
Sometimes I get down on the things I can't control. Like the weather on Golf day or a break in plans.
Sometimes I take myself way too seriously and forget that it is not all about me.
Sometimes I get judgemental and make blanket statements about things that I don't know enough about or make judgements about people that I don't even know.
Ok so I am not perfect. And I am also my own biggest critic. Maybe its OK to be flawed at 40. What I need to do is take a look back at the last 20 years and see where some of my inconsistencies originated.
Set the wayback machine to 1985 Mr. Peabody!
To be continued soon.
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